I Do What Works for Me, Even If It Is Unpopular


birthday-cake-evelyn“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. – Frederick Douglass

Have you ever felt like breaking away from what the crowd was doing, but you did not have the courage to pull yourself away because you feared you would miss out on all the happenings? I am sure you have experienced this some time in your life. 

I had a breakthrough the day before my birthday which resulted in a new personal motto. My new personal motto is, “I do what works for me, even if it is the unpopular.”

My Story:  I Do What Works for Me (Social Media)

Being an Ear

My birthday was on July 18th and on July 17th, I reflected on my life. I thought about how I always lend an ear to others (not related to coaching/health), but when I need an ear, there is no ear for me. I will write more about this topic in a future post.

Social Media Profiles

I also reflected my online presence.  When I started this blog, I thought I had to have a social media profile on every site because experts said it was one thing to do.  I deleted social media profiles in the past, but I would always re-open the accounts because it was the thing to do; be on social media. 

Deactivating Facebook Account

Well, I did something unpopular, I deactivated my Facebook account.  I have deleted Facebook accounts in the past, only to open new accounts months after deletion.  Deactivation is not the same as deletion. 

Deactivation allows you to sign in without losing your account, but deletion, after 14-days of not logging in, removes your account permanently from Facebook.

Since deactivating my Facebook account, I am more focused on my goals.  Sometimes, you have to let go of what causes distractions in your life.  Facebook was a big distraction in my life.  I will share more about this in a future post.

I am still on Twitter, and Google + .  I chose to stay on these social media sites because I enjoy these sites; I have more engagement; and I do not spend a lot of time on these sites.

My social media lesson is to do what works best for me, even if it is the unpopular.  I can not do everything; it is impossible.


Email from a Long-Time Reader

I reflected on July 17th, made some changes and had a peaceful sleep. On the morning of July 18th, my birthday, I received an email from a long-time reader of this blog.  Here is the email:

“Good Morning Evelyn,

    I pray that all is well with you.  You have been on my mind lately.  Therefore, I decided to check on you.  I miss seeing your videos!  I pray that God will continue to bless you in all of your endeavors.  You have been blessed to be a blessing, and the gift that God has given you through blogging and vlogging has immeasurably been a catalyst to positive changes that I have made in my life.  Too often, we don’t give people their flowers while they live.  I thought I would take time to give you yours.  Keep up the good work.

Take care,

BTW – I clicked on your Instagram the other day.  Hannah has gotten so tall!”

This email message came at the right time. This long-time reader had no idea that it was my birthday and she was not aware of my life reflection moment and discovery.

I have to admit, I was teary eyed after reading this message.  This long-time reader did not know about my new commitment to blogging activities.  She also did not know about my new commitment to vlogging.  I accept this as God’s divine message that I am on the right path.

Thank you long-time reader for sticking with me!  I appreciate you!

Final Words

Sometimes in life we have to find the courage to pull away from the crowd no matter how great things look on the outside.  We have to trust that the choices we make are best for us, even if those choices are not so popular.

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” ~ Frederick Douglass

Be you.  Do you.  Just be.

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About the Author

Evelyn Parham started this site in 2010. She enjoys writing, reading, and dabbling in photography and video editing. Learn more about her here.

12 Enlightened Replies

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  1. We all have to do what’s best for ourselves, regardless of what others say… unless it’s illegal or it harms others or them or you… then those rules change. We don’t take enough care of ourselves sometimes and that’s never good. So you’ve done what you did, and I’m assuming you’re happier now; and that’s that.

    Course you know you always have an ear with me on Twitter… as long as you’re not trying to get me to eat something I’m not eating! 😉

    • Hi Mitch, thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      Yeah, I am happier.

      I’ve finally narrowed down the social media sites that I really like for marketing myself, even though I am back on FB. FB is where I’ll have a little fun with friends and family.

      That’s good to know, Mitch. Don’t be surprised if I hit your ear up sometimes. I won’t do that, I promise! I know you’re not having that. 🙂

  2. ElleX says:

    I love the sentiments that you expressed in your post. We all need to do what will make us happy.

    I, too, take breaks from social media…it can be overwhelming and a time suck. But it also can be fruitful for business, fun, and educational/informative!

  3. Hi Evelyn, those moments of appreciation from readers are rare (at least for me) and yet so rewarding. Happy (belated) birthday. I don’t do most of the social media platforms that I ‘should’ as a blogger, I just don’t feel like spending my time that way.

    • Hi Mary,
      It’s rare for me too, Mary. I can’t tell you how long it’s been, but it has been a while. It is rewarding and the appreciation always comes when we need it the most. I totally understand you with the social media platforms. You have to do what works best for you.

      Thank you for stoping by and sharing!
      Have a great week!

  4. Jimi Jones says:

    Hello Evelyn.

    Its been quite some time since I’ve visited your space but this post drew me in. 🙂 I can completely relate to your situation, as I’ve been there before myself. May even have another return visit in the future. LOL

    But in all seriousness, we cannot sacrifice our individuality and creativity to simply be a member of the in-crowd. We humans have this desire to be a part of the latest and most popular thing that comes along, often creating time-deficits for ourselves. Best to do a few things well than many poorly. You know where you want to go, stay on the path that gets you there.

    Happy belated birthday, my friend. 🙂

    • Hi Jimi!
      Yes, it has been a while and I am glad this post drew you in. 🙂

      “Best to do a few things well than many poorly.” That’s great words of truth, Jimi and everything you say is on point.

      Thanks for the birthday wishes, my friend!

  5. Evelyn, what a beautiful, inspiring and courageous post! Learning how to trust yourself and do what works best for you can be so worthwhile in the long run. As bloggers and business owners we think doing more is the key to success. Being authentic and true to yourself even if it isn’t the most popular choice is what will truly resonate with your readers and clients and help you too. I agree to be you, do you and just be is best. I look forward to your new blog posts and videos!

    • Hi Shelley!
      You are right about being authentic and true to yourself. People can tell when you are keeping it real. And you know, trying to do more than you are comfortable doing gets you no where. Focusing on a few things takes you farther than focusing on too many things that do not produce results. I can go on and on.

      Glad you stopped by and commented. Always a pleasure hearing from you, Shelley!

  6. Trinity says:

    “Be you. Do you. Just be.” – I love it!
    Wow!!!! I pray that the epiphany that you experienced on the 17th will allow you to be more focused as you move into your destiny. Sometimes, I have to keep reminding me, “There is only one me. I’m an original.” It sounds as if you probably remind yourself of the same thing. However, in the world that we live in, this can be so very hard – everybody wants to do what everybody else is doing.
    But, as believers, we can do what we purpose (in our hearts) to do – because the Word reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! Have an awesome week, and keep doing you!
    Your cake is pretty!

    • Hi Trinity!
      I agree with you! The older I get, the more I realize that it is okay to “Be you. Do you. Just be.” 🙂

      Thank you! I had no idea I would get a cake because I did not want to eat any cake, but my husband surprised me with one. It is okay to celebrate on special occasions and the cake was delicious.

      Have a great week and I appreciate your words of wisdom. They ring clear!

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