Letting Go of Toxic People in your Life

female-talking-phone-stop-gestureThere are times in your life when you cross paths with a toxic person.  You may not realize that the person is a toxic person until after you have gotten to know the person.

A toxic person is one who drains of your energy, by taking more than they give.  This person wears down your spirit.  Most of the time the toxic person shows up in your life because they see something in you that they need.

It is not about material things for the toxic person, but more about having their emotional and mental needs met.  This person is also focused on themselves.

A toxic person is often:  negative, gossips about others, mentally ill, jealous, judgmental, inconsiderate, etc.

Here’s a short story about how I caught up with a toxic person.

I had a friendship with a person that started out with the person showing interest in me and the work that I do.  Be ware of these kinds of people.  The so-called friend flattered me with compliments, which at the time, I thought was strange, but I did not think much of it.

As the friendship grew, I found myself exhausted each time I spoke with the person.  I had headaches after speaking with the person.  I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained from listening to the other person’s problems and the issues they had with themselves and with other people.

I soon found myself avoiding the person’s telephone calls, because it had become too much for me. I also had my own personal issues.  I tried confiding in the person about a personal concern I had, but they did not show much interest.  This is when I finally realized that I was dealing with a toxic person.

Today, I no longer deal with people who drain my life energy.  I avoid negative people like a plague.  I not only want to be in good physical health, but I also want to have good mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Toxic people put a damper on your overall health and that is something you do not need in your life.

Let the Toxic Person Go (tips)

It is hard letting a toxic person go, but you have to do it for the sake of your health.  Toxic people are selfish and they do not care about anyone, but themselves.

  1. End the friendship.  If possible, let the person know you need to end the friendship.  Be gentle with their feelings and let them know that ending the friendship is not about them, but more about you and your health.
  2. Stop enabling the person. Do not give the person an opportunity to dump their problems and concerns on you.  Change the topic or end the conversation, but whatever you do, do not let them take your energy.
  3. Stop all forms of communication.  No meet-ups, phone calls, emails, etc.
  4. Forgive the person.  Do not hold a grudge against the person.  Forgive and forget and move on.
  5. Exercise.  Exercising helps relieve mental and physical tensions.
  6. Preserve your health.  Detaching yourself from toxic people is good for you because it helps you preserve your own mental and emotional health.

Final Words

Recognize those in your life who drain you and make you feel sick.  These are the people that you do not need in your life.

You are not a bad person for letting go of the toxic person and do not give anyone the power of making you feel otherwise.

Put your health first, and that goes for your spiritual, mental, and physical health;  the whole you.  Remember when any part of you is out of order, then other parts of you will be out of order as well.

Love yourself and your health enough to let go!

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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About the Author

Evelyn Parham started this site in 2010. She enjoys writing, reading, and dabbling in photography and video editing. Learn more about her here.

8 Enlightened Replies

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  1. Kris says:


    Very well said article and honest written article.
    I am the kind of person that doesn’t want to offend others so whether I like it or not I need to listen to others and give them advice every time they come to me. It’s tiring sometimes because I too have problems on my own but I just can’t ignore others that easily.
    Thank you for the helpful tips. I am actually going to you know apply it asap in other to PRESERVE MY HEALTH.

    • Hi Kris,

      Thanks for stopping by!

      I can relate to having my problems all while listening to others. These days, I keep to myself most of the time, which works out better for me in the long run.

      We have to preserve our health and health is not just physical, it is mental as well.

      Take care,


  2. Karielyn says:

    Hi Evelyn! This is an excellent article and so true. I especially like point #6.

    I have had to let toxic people go and it’s such a heavy load that is lifted off your emotions, like a black cloud that was lingering over you just left.

    You don’t really know how bad those feelings were affecting you until they are finally gone.

    Once you learn to identify a “toxic” person and experience the feeling of letting them go, it’s much easier to do the next time one comes around.

    I say that in a good way 🙂

  3. Amen, Amen, Amen!! Well said, Evelyn, and so true!!!

  4. Trinity says:

    How coincidental that you wrote this! I was just having a conversation with someone about how someone very close to me has, on several occasions, dumped their ill-emotions onto me. I don’t believe the person intentionally did this (it is not the person’s character). However, the end result is the same. Because of this person’s sensitivity, I have chosen to distance myself from this person as opposed to confronting them. Thanks for writing this post. Also, since I have to be in this person’s presence often, there is much awkwardness. I am learning to keep conversations brief and to stay focused on the situation at hand. But, as you mentioned, I don’t need to allow the person to take my energy. Good emotional health is so important!

    • Hi Trinity,

      You are doing the right thing. The best thing you can do is keep conversations brief and be focused on the situation. You want to keep as much of your positive energy as possible.

      Yes, it is!

      Take care and thanks for stopping by.


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