steps to success


Have you felt like you would fail before ever trying? I know you have because I have, but guess what I did? I tried, and after trying, I realized that either, what I was working on wasn’t for me, or I needed to find another way. Keep this in mind, “Don’t give up before giving your all.”

It doesn’t matter if you are working on weight loss, managing stress, or growing a business, or social media following for your brand. In order to reach any of the goals you set for yourself, you must work hard, as they say, today, you have put your nose down and grind.

I’m learning that those who put in the work get results. The results may not come when you want them to come, but you will get results, especially if you keep striving for what you want. I believe without any doubts that you can do anything that you set your mind and will to do.


Today’s topic is not what I had planned, but after weighing myself, I decided to write a blog post about why I’m gaining weight.

It’s been 3 and a half weeks since I recorded my weight, and I wasn’t surprised that the scale number increased. I’m not surprised because I know what I’ve been up to.

I chose to write this post because I believe the message will help someone who’s struggling to lose weight.

My Diet Story

Over the years, I tried a slew of restrictive diets. I thought I was on the right path, but I learned that I was a chronic dieter, trying to find something for which I could control.

The final straw was when I got sick while following a popular diet, the ketogenic diet. As a result, I stopped adhering to any one way of eating and began enjoying food.

Some people will probably say I’ve gained weight because, I added carbohydrates back to my diet, but that is not the reason, because there are many reasons why I’m a little fluffier than I was.

Why I’m Gaining Weight

Before I proceed any further, you should know how much I weight. Currently, I weight 156 pounds, and I’ve never weighed this much in my life, well, I have weighed 167 pounds, but that was when I was pregnant with my daughter.

Don’t believe the hype! There is no magic food, diet, or even exercise that will help you lose weight.

And here’s why I’m gaining weight

I’m Overeating

It is a known fact that if you eat more food (calories, energy) than you expend (burn), then you will gain weight.

Although I have an app to track my calories, I am not consistent with using it because I know that I will go over my allotted calories.

There are many reasons why I’m overeating and some of those reasons, actually contributed to my weight gain. You’ll learn what they are as you continue reading.

I’m Not Moving Enough

I follow the Fitbit Coach plan for getting lean, which requires four days of cardio/bodyweight exercises, but on the days I’m off, I try to do more walking as well as other activities.

Sometimes, I help my husband mow the lawn with a push mower. That works up a sweat and helps with burning calories.

It’s evident that I am not moving enough considering that I am taking in more food than I should and eating whatever, I want (no restrictions).

I’m Not Getting 7-9 Hours of Sleep

I know sleep and getting an adequate amount of rest is essential, but for some reason, I fell in the rut of averaging about 4-5 hours a night, and it’s tough breaking this unhealthy habit.

On July 18th, I’ll turn 48 years young, and menopause is knocking on my door. My metabolism is naturally slowing down, and lack of sleep isn’t helping with hormonal balance or weight loss.

One of the reasons why I can’t get in the bed at a realistic time is if because I’m a slave to my smartphone and YouTube. I can’t seem to put it down, and that’s a bad habit that has to end.

Metabolism is more than you think.

I’m Overeating Sugar

There are some foods I used to avoid like the plague, but now I find myself reaching for those childhood favorites and enjoying them.

Note: My husband can eat a lot of sweet treats and not gain a pound, but it doesn’t work like that for me.

Overeating sugar can affect hormones, weight, metabolism, and a host of other bodily functions. It can even impact your immune system.

Note: I had a cold, sore throat, and lost my voice for a few days in June (a rarity for me).

Sometimes when we know better, we put off doing better until we are ready.

One of the reasons why I’m writing this post and sharing my challenges is because it’s time for me to course correct.

The time is now.

Mentally Fed Up and Exhausted

I took a break from being active online because I needed time away. I’ll write more on this topic in the future, but for now, just know that I needed to step away for clarity and peace of mind.

My breaking point was when, I learned of a relative’s serious illness via a text message (who does that?), and it wasn’t even from the person who has the diagnosis.

Learning the news the way I did was upsetting, but helped me realize that although we have social media to stay connected with family and friends, we don’t communicate as we used to and we are more disconnected now than ever.

Mentally, I had a range of emotions flowing, which led to being in a dark place (not because of the text message I received). I was stressed, depressed, hurt, and confused about many things in my life, which led to my checking out for a while.

One of the reasons, I reached for food was to feel better and help me deal with what I was experiencing. I know better, but sometimes, you have to let nature take its course. It’s in the darkest times when we see the truth and light revealed.

Meek But Mighty by She Who Honors

Lack of Patience

I started tracking my calories/food, and after a few weeks, I fell off, because I observed no immediate change. Then, I started something new, and I repeated the pattern.

When we start a new program, be it for weight loss, fitness, or self-improvement, we must give it time and have patience.

Note: My husband told me to stick with what works, but I never do. I should take his advice, huh? lol

Not only do I lack patience with weight loss, but I also lack patience in other areas of my life, one in particular, is my daughter. I want my daughter to do things now, but it is hard for me to sit back and wait while watching her peers pass her by.

It’s possible that she’ll never be where I think she should be (I’m a realist), but I have to accept where she is now and make the most of the time and life we share together. She makes me smile and warms my heart more than I ever thought she would.

Final Words

As you can see, losing weight is not only about what you eat and how much you exercise. Yes, food and movement are a part of the process, but it’s not the only pieces to the weight loss puzzle.

We are whole beings, which means we are more than just the food we eat and the exercises we do. We have lives, experiences, feelings, and much more that impact weight loss and weight gain.

The next time you feel like giving up on your weight loss journey, still away and examine what’s going on in your life and with your inner man/woman. What you discover may surprise you.

Until next time.

Stay connected to who you are and what you believe.

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all or nothingAll or nothing, is that you?

At times, I approach things with an all or nothing attitude. It is not ever my intention to be that way; it sneaks up on me.

Making lifestyle changes for eating, weight loss or even fitness is challenging. The plan is to reach the lifestyle goals set, but one off day can throw you off your game.

Did I make poor food choices, why?

So you make a poor food choice, it is not the end of the world.

Instead of telling yourself, you’ll make healthier food choices the next time you eat, you surrender and continue making poor decisions for the rest of the day, week, or month.

You got off track in one area and instead of accessing the situation and asking yourself; why and how it happened, you keep going in the direction you don’t want to go.

There is a reason why you got off track, and when you step back and take a look at what’s going on, you’ll discover what happened.

Don’t quit because of a few mishaps

It is easy to give up and stop when we notice that we’ve made a few mistakes. That’s why an all or nothing attitude or approach is not the best way to go.

I learned from a personal trainer that women are more likely to approach change with the all or nothing thinking. How did she know?

Feeling like a failure after a few mishaps lead some people to quit because they don’t believe they can do it.

The mishap is for you to pay attention to your life and what’s going on around you. It doesn’t mean, quit.

All or nothing is a set up for a come up

How is this possible? It sets you up for being less rigid and more flexible. And so if you have a flexible attitude with lifestyle changes, then you won’t give up so quickly.

Instead, you’ll know why you made a poor food choice or didn’t do your scheduled exercise routine. Moving forward is how you come up and out of the all or nothing way of doing things.

Your speed doesn’t matter; forward is forward.

Until next time.

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